To My Anticipated Son
I anticipated complaining of a waking baby; Not of being grateful he's able to wake at all. I anticipated the wonder of time rushing past; Not of reflecting on milestones so small. I anticipated crying at immunizations and bumps while learning his way; Not of agonizing at more tests, evaluations, and word of more delays. I anticipated choices over preschool, clothes, and scout troops; Not of choices between hospitals, specialists, and which support groups. I anticipated loving him, but enjoying his independence from me soon; Not of loving him so much I'd want to keep him sheltered in my cocoon. I anticipated health and perfection when my baby was inside, thinking anything less would be tragic; But now that he is here, my special son has worked some kind of magic. I anticipated anger and disappointment at this fate; Not the joy and growth and knowledge that have become mine as of late. I anticipated something different, that is certainly true; But that's because I never could have anticipated one I love as much as you.
written to Tim with love from his Mom, Kathleen Hoppe, August 1995
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