To My Anticipated Son

I anticipated complaining of a waking baby;
Not of being grateful he's able to wake at all.
I anticipated the wonder of time rushing past;
Not of reflecting on milestones so small.
I anticipated crying at immunizations and bumps while learning his way;
Not of agonizing at more tests, evaluations, and word of more delays.
I anticipated choices over preschool, clothes, and scout troops;
Not of choices between hospitals, specialists, and which support groups.
I anticipated loving him, but enjoying his independence from me soon;
Not of loving him so much I'd want to keep him sheltered in my cocoon.
I anticipated health and perfection when my baby was inside, thinking
anything less
would be tragic;
But now that he is here, my special son has worked some kind of magic.
I anticipated anger and disappointment at this fate;
Not the joy and growth and knowledge that have become mine as of late.
I anticipated something different, that is certainly true;
But that's because I never could have anticipated one I love as much as you.

written to Tim with love from his Mom, Kathleen Hoppe, August 1995


Permission to duplicate, distribute and publish this document is granted with the provision that the document remains intact.